Well, not exactly. I am hitting the road tomorrow but not because I’m moving across the country quite yet. I would like to update that everything has fallen in line with precision timing so my family could be reunited but we are still in a hold.
So, we are headed off to see my mom, not because I have already become weak, although I did have one tough day, but more just to relish in the close commute for as long as we have it.
I’ve definitely been praying a buyer comes soon for my house, but I have not been praying for patience. Right now, patience is not a lesson that I am prepared to be schooled in, and I’ve learned to be careful what you pray for. Strength, I think I’ll go with that. I give all the credit in the world to those of you out there that are single parents. In fact, I would give you all a huge hug if I saw you in person. Two weeks in, doing everything on my own feels like a never-ending marathon so yes, strength, that’s where my prayers will be focused.
As I mentioned last blog, with my book coming out soon, the timing of things is not ideal. My publisher and I are still go round and round trying to come up with my book cover. And right now, part of me has trouble even focusing enough to give my opinion on it with all that’s going on. Some of the ideas I’ve had just don’t seem to be working out and some of their ideas just don’t resonate with me. But that’s why it’s hard to make a decision because ultimately it doesn’t really matter what resonates with me, it’s what will touch other people and I’m just not sure what that is yet.
It seems crazy that it only took me four months to write this book and yet it’s taken a month already to try and come up with a cover. I have to continue to do my best to remember that this is all in God’s timing, not in mine. So when it is right, we will know it. And most likely, the cover will probably mean a whole lot less than I think it will.
This is all just a part of life, with the starts and stops, the one step forward, two steps back. Sometimes just when we feel we have a full head of steam going in a certain direction…WHAM, we change course or hit a wall. Strength, it’s then when we need it. Not that every change in life is dramatic or life-threatening like those in my book, but they all affect us, they matter in our day to day.
Even tonight, I had the most wonderful time playing with my 2-year outside after another long day of doing it all alone. I was so grateful for it. Yet, five minutes after coming inside you guessed it…we hit a brick wall out of nowhere. The smallest of details in his day took him in another direction and it wasn’t a happy one. I can’t even remember what happened. Strength. We all need it. Sometimes it’s a huge issue like our health or a big family decision. Other times it’s with making a choice about something that’s become very important to you. Or maybe it’s just to stay calm when your toddler is screaming as you’re trying to talk on the phone to your husband who is 2,000 miles away.
As I continue on this journey, I want to say thank you to all of you who are following this blog and supporting me with my book. You give me strength. You are one of the reasons I am doing this, pushing through when I’m exhausted because I know you’re out there listening and waiting patiently for this book. I have said I don’t think I’d ever write again but now sometimes I wonder. Life just keeps getting more and more interesting. With move number fifteen in sixteen years coming at the same time as this book, who knows, I may have more to say. Another possible change of course would not surprise me.
This is definitely not an easy time right now but I’ve learned from experience that it’s through these times we build our spiritual muscles. We don’t always sign up for the training, but I am hoping when I look back in a few months when this has all worked out as it should, I will have used this experience to develop some “spiritual brawn.” Hopefully, I can save my training in patience for another time.
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