Oh how I’d love to take those words literally right now. It’s 1:30 pm, which in my house means naptime. Not mine, although I’d be all for it. It’s the glorious two hours of uninterrupted silence that I use each day to try and get 5 hours worth of things done. I know I am not alone in that fight against time, we all go through it.
One of my goals during this period is writing my bi-weekly blog. It’s funny because almost 8 months ago now was the day I first started writing my book. Even saying that phrase still seems strange. Yes, I minored in writing in college but that part of my degree was more about switching my major from journalism to teaching and already having the credits I needed than it was about wanting to be a writer. I have always loved writing, but it was not an aspiration. As of last year, the longest thing I wrote was the weekly grocery list. And sometimes I didn’t even feel like doing that and would just wing it. Consequently, many times I forget the essentials. Oops, you needed deodorant and toothpaste? Well just don’t get too close to anyone until I can go back.
But now after completing the book, I attempt to come up with something to say twice a week that may inspire, may be a lesson learned or at least at minimum be real. Honestly, every time I start a new blog I stare at the screen for a few minutes and think, “I have nothing.” I have gotten better, though, at realizing this blog has nothing to do with me at all really. Yes I talk about my family and things that have happened to me and my loved ones. But ultimately I know that it all comes from God. I know enough now to stop and pray for the words, for what someone may need to hear that day. It has been pretty amazing what has come out when I’ve thought I had little to contribute.
With that being said, here’s what I have today…NOTHING. I just realized that’s ok. I have decided for once I am just going to let it go. I heard a new song in the car today called “Still” by Hillary Scott and it confirmed how I was feeling.
You’re parting waters
Making a way for me
You’re moving mountains that I don’t even see
You’ve answered my prayer before I even speak
All You need for me to be is still
Today I am not going to worry about being inspirational. I am not going to try to write something clever just for the sake of writing. I am not going to post anything to my Facebook page for my book or get on the internet at all. I am not going to try to figure out how to get more followers and spread the word. I am not going to worry about whether what I am doing has purpose, I will trust it does.
I am going to be still and know that He is God. I will not be a hamster today running on a wheel that will exhaust me. Tomorrow? Maybe, but not today. I am going to enjoy the silence and the blessing of a sleeping child, wait out in the sunshine for the my oldest to get off the bus. Go watch some baseball tonight and enjoy family time.
Eight months ago life was a whole lot less hectic. I always find it funny when people say, “Well, he or she has too much time on their hands.” Really? That sounds great to me, sign me up! My husband and I have actually made a point not to overschedule our family, it’s just something we decided was important for us. Although now with all that has changed in this past year, none of it anything I could have foreseen, I seem to be running a time crunch each day. That’s not the way I like it. But I know there is a reason, I know there is a plan. I will continue to give all I have to see what I started through to the end. But it’s 5 o’clock somewhere, so for today, I’m out. God bless.
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