The lyrics from some songs are so inspirational and powerful that they can carve a spot deep within us and touch our soul. After hearing such a song by Micah Tyler yesterday morning, I spent the rest of the day singing it continuously and realized what an amazing reminder it is for our lives.
“There’s never been a moment, I was not held inside Your arms. There’s never been a day when You were not who You say You are.”
Take those powerful words, along with a beautiful melody, and you have a win-win for something positive to relish throughout the day and a promise to hold on to. And boy do we need something like that at times. I remember when I first started submitting my book “Cancer on Monday, Dead on Tuesday, Home by the Weekend” to publishers, something one editor said to me made a huge impact on the way I looked at the book and how it could make a difference in someone’s life, just like that beautiful song did for me.
“If my mom is dying in the hospital as I’m reading this, or if she is ill with no hope…then give me hope. Help me cope. Wrap your words around me like arms and tell me it’s going to be okay because if you can do it, anyone can,” she told me.
Wow, what a profound effect a few sentences can have on you. Those thoughts have stayed close to my heart everyday since I heard them. And she’s right, when we are struggling, we NEED something to hold on to. I believed the day my mom’s heart stopped multiple times was the day I might have to say good-bye, and I felt like the world as I knew it would end. I needed hope, strength, a light in the darkness. There is no way to prepare for that, not when we’re young or old. Death and sickness can consume us and take us to depths of despair we didn’t know existed. And what’s worse is when there is no warning.
I consider myself to be a pretty strong person on a day-to-day basis. But the moment I got news my mother may die at any moment revealed a side of me I believe has never been on display before. A two-minute conversation put me in absolute shut down mode and created an instant torture in my soul that no human hands could fully restore. I never thought I would find a way to get through it, I felt like throwing in the towel because the pain was too deep. And I am not alone in that despair, families are going through unspeakable difficulties all the time. Mothers are sick, they are dying. Miraculous recoveries are not received in each situation. I know how very blessed I am to still have her.
So as I began this journey, I prayed for wisdom and asked for God’s words when I wrote this book with what I hope WILL wrap others in His love when they are struggling. Words that will provide comfort, a peace that surpasses understanding, a strength that defies explanation. I pray our family’s experience will be used for a greater good and people everywhere will be encouraged by what God has done in our lives because if He did it for me, He CAN do it for anyone.
Because of His promises, I was able to find what I needed to survive it. If I had only myself to rely on, failure would have been inevitable. Yet please don’t mistake my getting through it for a simple plan to handle devastating news, my prayers did not come with a chance to turn onto an easier road, it was only that I had an extra passenger in my car along the way.
I can tell you there will never be a moment when I am prepared to lose my mother, but I also know that there will never be a moment that I have to face any of it ALONE.
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